


The Beating of Your Heart

by snarky_saxophonist



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: Aka Kris's from the game against the Rockies, Head Injury, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 00:45:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14557194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarky_saxophonist/pseuds/snarky_saxophonist
Summary: Anthony’s been hit by pitches at least a hundred times in his career. He’s seen guys get plunked countless times. He’s seen Kris get nailed plenty of times in the whopping three seasons his boyfriend’s spent in the majors. He’s even seen Kris get hurt far too many times for his liking.None of that compares to the sickening terror of seeing the pitch heading up and in on Kris, way too far on both counts.





	The Beating of Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> If you or someone you know personally is tagged in this, please click away now. This is a work of fiction and not intended to be real.
> 
> So if you missed the game against the Rockies on April 22nd, it was completely ridiculous and terrifying. Kris got nailed in the head with a pitch in the first inning, Almora made three separate crazy and almost certainly run saving catches, and the Rockies almost rallied to tie it in the ninth but the Cubs won on an overturned call at the plate when Arenado tried to score on a wild pitch. Baseball, huh?
> 
> I think the only thing I need to warn for in this is Kris's head injury after getting hit, which wasn't called a concussion and didn't turn out to be too serious. If there's anything I missed, please let me know in the comments!

Anthony’s been hit by pitches at least a hundred times in his career. He’s seen guys get plunked countless times. He’s seen Kris get nailed plenty of times in the whopping three seasons his boyfriend’s spent in the majors. He’s even seen Kris get hurt far too many times for his liking.

None of that compares to the sickening terror of seeing the pitch heading up and in on Kris, way too far on both counts. Anthony takes a half step towards the batter’s box, knows he won’t even get close, knows Kris won’t even get close to moving out of the way. There’s not enough time to do anything, just to hear the horrifying crunch as the ball hits helmet – at least, Anthony is praying that it’s helmet and not an impact directly with Kris’s skull. 

Distracted by the bright arc of Kris’s tumbling sunglasses, it takes Anthony a moment to refocus and find Kris, mercifully still on his feet. He’s not sure how, after that blow, but it seems like the start of a good sign. Or at least not a completely horrible sign.

Joe’s out of the dugout before Anthony can even finish processing what had happened, wrapping an arm around Kris and looking like he’s holding Kris up. The trainers are moments later, crowding around Kris, asking him questions. Anthony takes a deep breath, reminds himself that Kris is at least still standing, and heads over towards them.

“Kris, man, you alright?” Anthony asks quietly, coming up behind him and putting a hand on Kris’s shoulder.

“What?” Kris mutters distractedly, glancing slightly over at him. One of the trainers subtly shakes his head at Anthony, and Anthony gets the message, quieting. 

He stays there with Kris while the trainer asks him a few questions, squeezing his shoulder in reassurance. It’s a quick visit, as Maddon makes it clear that Kris is leaving the game no matter what. And on one hand, Anthony is glad for that, because he wants Kris to be careful, especially with his head, but he hates that it’s serious enough to warrant immediately leaving. 

“Hey, feel better,” Anthony says when the trainers start to get Kris off the field. He gives his shoulder one last squeeze and makes his way to the batter’s box as the crowd applauds for Kris. He doesn’t get a reply from Kris, but he’s glad that Kris was at least coherent enough to respond to the trainers’ questions. And he stayed on his feet. If Kris had taken a ball to the head and collapsed at the plate, Anthony’s not sure he could’ve stopped himself from sprinting to his side.

As he digs in, Anthony forces himself to put the sickening image of that pitch out of his head. They have a baseball game to win, and he’ll be damned if they don’t convert on this free baserunner. Well. Not really free, as Bote being on first was paid for with Kris’s health, but Anthony’s not going to pass the opportunity up. 

 

And even though they rally and score three times in the first inning, and six more times in the game, and Almora nearly kills himself saving runs in center, they nearly blow the game. They’d gotten the update in the dugout, of course, that Kris is doing as well as can be expected and isn’t showing concussion symptoms, but Anthony needs to see him in person. And, the nagging little voice in his head points out, weren’t his confusion and wooziness on the field earlier concussion symptoms in themselves?

But the game’s over, and they won, and Anthony doesn’t have to talk to the media today because he barely did anything. They’ll want to talk to Almora, and Morrow, and Javy, the heroes of the game, not the first baseman who’s batting below .200 on the season. But, he reminds himself, that just means that he gets to see Kris earlier instead of dealing with dumb questions that he could answer in his sleep.

“Hey,” Kris smiles tiredly at him from where he’s holding an ice pack to his face. “Crazy win today.”

“Yeah, that game had everything,” Anthony says, perching on the edge of the table next to Kris, “including almost a heart attack for me. How’s your head?”

“It’s still attached,” Kris says, lowering the ice pack so Anthony can see the small cut above his eye. “I’ve got a bit of a headache but that’s about it.”

“Thank God.” Anthony leans in to press a kiss to his forehead, as gently as he can. “Feel better?”

That gets a real smile from Kris. “Of course. I’m not sure if I can give the doctors that as a reason they should let me play, though.”

“How long do they think you’ll be out?” Anthony asks, a little anxiously.

Kris lifts one shoulder in a shrug. He doesn’t look too concerned, which makes Anthony feel a little better, although he can remember too many times where Kris hasn’t been concerned enough about his health.

“Are you flying out with us tonight?” Anthony presses. That, in itself, should be a pretty good indication of how well Kris is doing. If he’s traveling to Cleveland, there’s a good chance he’ll be back in the next couple of days, which is what Anthony is hoping beyond hope for. If he’s traveling straight back to Chicago, it’ll probably be during the homestand, which is still pretty good. Anthony would be fine with that, even though he wants Kris with him. If he’s staying in Denver, however, that’s a pretty clear indication of some sort of DL stint, which Anthony isn’t sure he can deal with. They’ve already spent too much time not playing together because of Anthony’s stupid back, he doesn’t want to lose more time because a pitcher doesn’t know how to safely pitch up and in. 

“Yep,” Kris says, smile returning. He knows just where Anthony’s head is at, of course. “They’ll have to see how I’m doing tomorrow, but there’s a chance I could be playing on Tuesday. Aside from the headache, I’m feeling pretty good.”

“Yeah? You were kinda out of it on the field,” Anthony says, not quite ready to let go of his apprehension after the gut-wrenching terror of seeing Kris stagger backwards.

“I think I get a pass because, I don’t know, I got hit in the head with a fastball at 96,” Kris says, raising his eyebrows ever so slightly. Anthony anticipates a wince to go along with the motion, but Kris doesn’t look like he’s in more pain. “I’m good now, though. I think Al might be more banged up than I am.”

“He might be pretty sore tomorrow,” Anthony admits. “But it’s a lot less scary seeing him get a little banged up in center than seeing you get hit in the face.”

“Yeah, it’s a lot less scary running into a wall than seeing a pitch coming and knowing you can’t get out of the way in time,” Kris says. “Hey, at least we’ve got an off day tomorrow. I think we could all use a little bit of a rest after this game, huh?”

“I know I could,” Anthony says. “Sleep in a little, spend some nice time with my boyfriend, have a nice relaxing workout, maybe cheat a little on our meal plan.”

“I’m down with the first half of that, but I think I’ll have to wait and about the workout, and if I’m not working out, I’ll have to skip out on eating junk,” Kris says.

“You don’t think you’ll be cleared?” Anthony asks, tensing slightly again. Screw what the doctors say, Kris has a better sense of his body and whether or not he’ll be ready. 

“I don’t know. I feel pretty okay, but they said I should get checked out by Cleveland’s doctor, and that symptoms might manifest tomorrow. ‘Head injuries are tricky’,” Kris says with a slight eyeroll, clearly repeating a quote from the trainers. “Like we don’t all know that already.”

“No shit,” Anthony agrees. 

“Speaking of shit, you smell like it,” Kris says bluntly. “Go take a shower, I’m not going to fade into dust if you’re gone for half an hour.”

“Yeah, yeah, you watch me get hit in the head and tell me you’d be willing to let me out of your sight,” Anthony says, but he kisses Kris on the top of the head and relents. “I’ll be back.”

“Shoot me a text when the media clears out and it’s safe to go out?” Kris calls after him. Shaking his head and laughing a little, Anthony nods an affirmative and ducks out into the hallway.

 

“Morning.” Anthony hears a quiet murmur from behind him when he wakes up, still ensconced in Kris’s arms. He rolls over to face him, brushing a finger over the small cut above Kris’s eye.

“You don’t even have a shiner,” he comments, leaning in to press a quick kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead. 

“I guess I’m just too pretty to be bruised,” Kris shoots back, smiling indulgently. Anthony grins in return, but privately wonders if there’ve been too many jokes in the clubhouse about how attractive Kris is. He used to blush adorably every time it was brought up, and some part of Anthony misses that.

“Clearly,” he says instead of getting into that, rolling his shoulders and stretching his back a little. “How do you feel?”

“Eh.” Kris makes a face. “Not bad, but a little off. I don’t know. I’ll probably see Cleveland’s doctor.”

“Sorry,” Anthony says. He was hoping Kris would be feeling back to his usual self today, but a little off is better than feeling awful. He goes in for a kiss, but Kris leans away, making a face.

“Brush your teeth,” he says before Anthony can start pouting. “I’ve told you a million times, I don’t want to kiss your nasty morning breath.”

“You’re so mean to me,” Anthony says, pouting anyways. He sneaks in to give Kris a kiss on the cheek instead, then regretfully rolls out of bed. He offers Kris a hand up, but Kris just looks up at him, widening his big blue eyes for sympathy. Anthony wishes it didn’t work quite so well on him.

“I think you should order me breakfast in bed,” he says with a slight smile. “Isn’t it your job to take care of me when I’m injured?”

“No,” Anthony says, but tosses the menu for room service at Kris as he heads for the bathroom to get ready.

“I want an omelet with peppers and turkey bacon,” Kris says when he comes back out. “And OJ.”

“Needy, aren’t you?” Anthony teases, taking the menu back and scanning over it before grabbing the phone to call in for two omelets and a side of French toast for himself.

“That doesn’t seem like it’s part of your meal plan,” Kris says pointedly, shoving himself up to a seated position in bed. 

“Today’s my cheat day,” Anthony says, even though he’s definitely said that at least twice over the last week. He’ll do some extra cardio today in his workout. Kris’s knowing smile says that he knows Anthony is bullshitting, but he doesn’t comment, thankfully, instead gesturing for Anthony to rejoin him in bed. Even though he’ll have to get up again shortly to get the food, he goes, because he really wants to hold Kris and continue to remind himself that his boyfriend is in one piece.

 

“The reporters keep trying to grill me about how you’re doing,” Anthony whines to Kris on Thursday. “Can’t you be back already? I don’t wanna talk to them more.”

Kris rolls his eyes, because of course he knows that Anthony’s only whining for the sake of whining. “Yeah, okay, I’ll come back before I’m medically cleared and hit my head again, and oh, who are you? I can’t seem to recall.”

“You’re a dick.” Anthony hip bumps Kris, and regrets his comment immediately when he sees Kris start to smirk. “Don’t-“

“I don’t think you can complain about my dick, considering how much you were-“ Kris starts, but Anthony claps a hand over his mouth and squawks loudly to keep Kris from being overheard by the teammates scattered around the locker room.

“Good to know the two of you are actually five years old,” Hendricks says dryly, giving them his patented flat stare as he walks past. The effect is negated a bit when Willson takes that opportunity to pat him on the ass and plaster himself against Kyle’s back, causing the pitcher to jump in surprise, a sappy smile crossing his face when he realizes who it is.

“Bunch of fuckin’ lovebirds in this clubhouse,” Lester grumbles theatrically from his locker, but Anthony knows he’s far from mad. The veteran pitcher acts crotchety, but he’d been in on the betting pools for both relationships and heavily invested in them. 

“Hey, we haven’t gotten to play together at all this season, cut us some slack,” Anthony complains, finally releasing Kris so he can speak again.

“Oh, please,” Willson snorts, prompting a round of laughter from the rest of the clubhouse. 

“Yeah, it’s not like you’ve already played about as many games together this season as Willy and I did all last season,” Kyle adds. 

“Well, regardless, I’m not medically cleared to play baseball, so there’s not much I can do about it until that point,” Kris says. “Speaking of, I’m going to go see Dr. Adams, see what I can do about getting back on the field.”

“I’m all in favor of that,” Anthony says, leaning in to plant a quick kiss on Kris’s cheek and ignoring the resulting wolf-whistles and chirps from the rest of their teammates.

 

Anthony knows he’s being ridiculous and acting more like Willy than himself before Saturday’s game, but Kris is going to be back today and they’re going to crush the Brewers together. And he and Kris are finally playing together again after what feels like weeks. Or five days. But it felt much longer than that.

“Chill, dude,” Lester grumbles, scowling at him. “You’re making me tired, and my catcher is Willson Contreras.”

“Kris is back, I’m allowed to be excited,” Anthony protests, giving Lester a hug. The pitcher scowls and tries to shake him off, but Anthony clings to him. “You should be happy, he’ll give you more offense for your next start.”

“Go be happy elsewhere.” Lester finally succeeds in getting Anthony off, dumping him unceremoniously on the floor. Anthony can’t stop smiling even though he’s now sitting next to a pile of dirty workout clothes. 

“I’ll go find Kris and be happy with him, because unlike you, he actually likes me,” Anthony says as he picks himself up off the floor, sticking his tongue out at Jon.

“What about me?” Kris asks, getting the expression he always does when Anthony is being mildly ridiculous.

“He’s complaining that I’m being mean and says you like him better than I do,” Jon says. “Best of luck with him.”

Kris, instead of going over to Anthony to greet him, unfortunately, just heads over to his locker. It looks like he’s rolling his eyes, but Anthony can’t quite be sure considering his boyfriend has walked away from him. And given that Willy isn’t in the room to be excited with him, Anthony has no choice but to bother Kris.

“Sparkles,” he whines, going over and hugging Kris from behind, leaning over his shoulder to peer at his boyfriend’s phone. “You care about the news more than me?”

“I like to be informed on world news,” Kris says simply, sticking his phone back in his locker.

“Well I know some world news that might interest you,” Anthony says.

“Yeah?” Kris asks, finally turning to face Anthony, looking slightly skeptical.

“Yep!” Anthony says cheerfully. “There’s this guy who’s been out for years and years, and he’s finally back today!”

“Really. This guy’s been out years and years? Not, I don’t know, less than five games?”

“Years and years and years,” Anthony repeats. “I barely remember him any more.”

“Oh? You forgot about me in just five days?” Kris asks. “I guess I’d better move out then, if my roommate doesn’t even know who I am.”

“No,” Anthony whines. “I just got you back, don’t leave me again.”

“It’s not like I actually left. I’ve been here working out with you the entire time,” Kris says, but he smiles indulgently and allows Anthony to give him a quick kiss. On the cheek, of course, because they have a strict rule against real kisses outside of a private residence. A cheek kiss can be explained away, full on making out cannot be. “Speaking of, let’s go get on the field and work out, huh?”

“Finally. It’s been years and years and years since we’ve done that,” Anthony says, grabbing Kris’s hand to drag him outside and studiously ignoring Kris’s mutter about how it’s been less than a day.

 

The cheers when Kris walks to the batter’s box are exactly what Anthony expected. A quick glance up at the crowd confirms his suspicion that Kris is getting a standing ovation for being back after less than a week. 

Anthony takes a few halfhearted swings in the on deck circle, but he’s more interested in watching Kris’s at bat. There’s an unexpected churn of anxiety in his gut as the pitcher begins his windup, which makes no sense. There’s nothing that should make him anxious right now – he’s not at bat with the game on the line, it’s just the first inning, but he still feels anxious.

It’s not until the ball smacks into the catcher’s mitt that Anthony realizes what it is. He’s nervous about Kris getting nailed in the head again, maybe this time with worse consequences. Which is incredibly dumb, because Kris has a helmet and a C-flap now, and it’s not like Anthony would be able to do anything even if he didn’t.

Of course, Kris doesn’t get hit in the head. Kris has a good at bat, as per usual, and takes a walk to first. 

Anthony grins as he hears the familiar bars of his walkup music. He’s missed hitting behind Kris. And even if Kris returning doesn’t break Anthony’s slump, half of the heart of the team is back. As long as the two of them are at the top of the lineup together, nobody will be able to keep this team down for long.


End file.
